Now we’re cookin’…WITH GAS!!!! November 19, 2006

First of all, no, the kitchen is not yet complete.  But it is complete enough for me to have spent the entire weekend putting shit away, and complete enough for me to cook.  With gas.  Because I now have a gas cooktop.  I grew up with gas, and love cooking with it, but I’ve spent the last 12 years cooking on an electric stove.  Which sucks.  And?  My gas cooktop has one burner with something it proclaims is “POWER BOIL,” which essentially (I assume) means that I can put a pot on that burner, turn on Power Boil, and three or four seconds later, be ready to toss in the spaghetti.  I haven’t tried it yet, so don’t you dare try bursting my damn bubble.  I’m aware it might take, say, three minutes.

Anyway, check it:

This is Anthony in the upper pantry cabinet.  This was a couple of weeks ago. 

This is Anthony being a goofball, getting ready to eat a bowl full of peas.  You know what I love?  Is that my kitchen is already a messy hole of food containers and dirty plates.  That’s the way WE ROLL in this house.

A slightly different view.  That’s Jed, the fat-ass Brittany, in front of the fridge.  He’s hoping Anthony will drop something.  He’s hoping for some sour cream or butter or cheese, but all he’s going to get is a pea, and then he’ll try to eat it, hate it, and spit it back up on the floor.  Because that’s the way HE rolls.  Stupid dog.

My new favorite place in the whole world.  Note:  laptop, vodka tonic, telephone, fresh bottle of Grey Goose my bro brought to me last night as a kitchen-warming present (thanks, bro).

That’s where I do all the damn dishes.  Do you like my Cookie Monster cookie jar?  I had a dream, many years ago, and it involved a Cookie Monster cookie jar.  I wrote it up in a class, when we were directed to write a dream (and I’d dig it up, but that would require me to plug in a couple of ancient computers and search on them for old files).  And a few years ago, I was at some shoddy craft fair, and saw this Cookie Monster cookie jar, and HAD to HAVE it.  There’s never any cookies in it (they go from pan into mouth, whoever is stupid enough to have done this hops around in the kitchen pointing to their open mouth, from which steam is shooting, going “Anh!  Anh!” while I say, “I just took those out of the damn oven, you idiot!”).  However, I bought some chocolate chips at the store tonight, so maybe I’ll make some cookies and put them in the cookie jar, just for fun.

I’m confused about why I took this picture from this angle, but you can see my gas cooktop from here.  And my AWESOME microwave.  My awesome microwave that also bakes. 

Here’s the interior of my pantry, and a bunch of small appliances I hardly ever use in the upper portion, where Anthony was stashed in the first picture of this post. 

I am fully aware that none of this is of any interest to anyone but me.  But it’s my damn blog.  So there.

Kitchen Update # I don’t know. 3? 4? Who cares! October 27, 2006

The cabinets are in! The fucked-up wall-ceiling problem has been fixed enough for me to be able to deal with it. Granite has been picked out, slabs have been viewed and 1/2 paid for. We’ve got crown molding to go, appliances to go in, countertop to go in, walls to be painted. With any luck, this damn thing will be done by Thanksgiving. Thank GOD I’m not having Thanksgiving at my house, because I’d be freaking out right now.

There’s my husband, standing in front of the sink. Where the ladder is right now is the space for the fridge.

I’m thinking perhaps that my husband is trying to have unnatural relations with the drawers in which I will be keeping my pots and pans. Yes. There’s something wrong with him.

Here’s a view from standing in the dining room. There will be countertop wrapping around over those lower cabinets, coming out far enough for people to sit on stools and get drunk while I feed them continuously. Because that’s the way I roll.

Another view from the dining room, standing a little further back. Basically, I’d be standing on top of the dining room table taking this picture if the dining room table wasn’t currently on the back porch, covered with crap.

Here, I’m standing basically right in front of the refrigerator, looking into my dining room.

I fully realize this is only exciting to me. And maybe a couple of other people. You can see there, in the lower right hand corner, the phone, and behind it, my vodka tonic. If the counter was there, my phone and my vodka tonic would be sitting on the counter. Okay, so, duh. Obviously. The counter will come out from that cabinet another 16 inches or so, and in the very near future, friends, neighbors, and family will be sitting on a stool at that counter/bar type thing.

I’ve waited so long for this. I’m giddy about it. Giddy, I tell you. I can’t wait to have a fucking party, nor can the friends, neighbors, and family that have been forced to listen to my bitching/squealing/babbling about the progress of my kitchen.

Kitchen Update # Whatever October 17, 2006

I’m too lazy to get up and take pictures. Plus? I think my battery is out on my camera and needs recharging.

Anyway, drywall is up. John has wandered around with a level checking things out and writing “NOT PLUMB” on the walls, and is having a minor heart attack about how the wood floor guys (the wood floors are almost done) put in the bullnose on the step going down to the tiny landing by the back door, and didn’t make sure the back door could actually open all the way. I’m in a I-don’t-fucking-care-just-put-the-cabinets-in mood, although I know the two spots on the ceiling of the dining room that are a little wavy are going to bug the crap out of me for years to come if they’re not fixed and/or I don’t get the contractor to lop a few hundred dollars off the final bill for me to not mind it for the time being.

This is the biggest project we’ve ever done in our house, and it’s going to change everything about how I feel about this house, and it’s actually moving pretty quickly, but it’s a minor nightmare that I’m attempting to shake off every morning.

Anyway, I’m realizing a lot of things about my writing life lately, such as, I want to be a non-fiction writer. I mean to say that, I want to be primarily known as a non-fiction writer, an essayist, a memoirist, whatever, who breaks out occasionally with a novel. I’m good at the non-fiction. I enjoy writing it (see all previous posts. Or, at least, some of them). I like being funny and/or bitchy and/or non-p.c. and/or and/or and/or something. I don’t know. I had to drink several vodka tonics in order to deal with washing drywall crap off my stairs tonight after a long day at school.

I have no purpose or point to this particular post. Sorry. I just felt compelled to post after giving Megan several ideas for her own blog. And Megan? Is awesome. I adore her as a person, and I look up to her as a writer and teacher, and I seek her out for advice about writing and teaching, and she is an amazingly talented writer and an amazingly wonderful person and I love her to pieces. And by that I mean, that if I actually showered upon her all the love I have for her? She’d fall apart into little pieces. Because, like, it would be too heavy or something. So maybe loving someone to pieces isn’t all that good of a thing to say. I love her a lot. Does that work?

If you haven’t yet ever heard me rail on about how great Megan is, you should go check out her blog. Okay? Got it? Go check out Megan’s blog. Consider it a command. Oh. Wait. I think I give the commands on the other blog. Anyway, go visit Megan and read through her archives, and then give her some more ideas of things to blog about, because Christopher has 37 ideas and he doesn’t even have a blog, and Megan needs at least 37 ideas.

Kitchen Update October 13, 2006

Because I know you care, I thought I’d give you all a little update.

I believe we are experiencing the fastest-ever kitchen remodel EVAH. Somehow, things are moving smoothly and working out and coordinating in unprecedented ways. (Knock on wood. Go ahead. Knock on wood RIGHT NOW.)

Demo is done. Electric work is done. Duct moving is done. Plumbing changes are done. The next week is going to be CRAZY. Tomorrow 7:30 a.m. (yes, it’s a Saturday. I don’t really care. I’m microwaving pancakes for my children while standing on my porch in 30 degrees every morning. I don’t care if these guys start sleeping over, as long as they’re getting the work done), drywall will begin. One guy’ll start putting it up, then his brother’s coming to start taping and mudding. Sunday, said brother will return to do the second taping/mudding/whatever. Monday morning, walls get primed AND the floor guy will show up to rip up the dining room floor and to install the new subfloor in the dining room, and to get as far as he can installing the wood floor in the dining room and kitchen. Tuesday, floor guy comes to finish installing and sand the floor and possibly stain it. Wednesday, the first coat of polyurethane goes on (and we go somewhere else to hang and sleep). What’s worked out brilliantly here is that floor guy wants to put the second two coats of poly on AFTER the cabinets have gone in! So, it just might be that my cabinets get installed next Thursday and Friday. Two weeks after demo began. Is that a record, or what?

After the cabinets (or maybe before? I don’t know), walls and ceilings get painted, which means I’d better decide what paint colors I want in the kitchen, the dining room (and up the stairs into the upstairs hall), and the basement. Then, the countertop guys come in to measure and make a template. They’ll go back to their shop, shape the granite I’ll pick out into the shape it needs to be in, and come back and install it, plus my under-counter-mounted sink, and then my cooktop will get installed. Then floor guy will come back to do the second two coats of polyurethane. And THEN, I will have a completed, new, absolutely awesome kitchen/dining room masterpiece.

You have no idea what this means to me. My kitchen has SUCKED for 11 years. I love to cook, and I love to entertain, and before this change, cooking has sucked and entertaining has sucked. My dining room is (WAS) small and cramped, and moving between it and my cramped hallway of a kitchen was always a nightmare. A clusterfuck of half-drunk revelers just looking for another drink or something to eat. Well, my friends, it’s a clusterfuck no more!

Here’s some pics of the current state of the room(s), not that they’re all that different from the last pics. The studs holding up the house are gone now, and the header is in, so it looks more open, that’s all.

Standing in dining room, looking into kitchen. Before, if I was standing in this samae spot, I’d be taking a picture of my closet and the entryway into the kitchen. That white wall thing on the left is the former back wall of the closet.

This isn’t really all that exciting, sorry. Standing in the kitchen, between the back door and the dining room, looking north. Look at all that sheetrock! Tomorrow, it will be on the walls.

Standing in the kitchen, kind of in front of where my sink will be, as if I’m leaning against the sink, looking into the dining room.

I have a thousand more pictures, but you’re bored with this, and not nearly as excited as I am. I understand.

More updates soon!

Plus, I have to respond to a meme I was tagged with about books (hmmm, I wonder if I’ll be able to manage it).

Also, if you’re in the Chicago area, tune in to WGN radio (720 AM) at 8:00 a.m. to listen to my awesome teacher Sam Weller (author of the recently published and ONLY, and thoroughly authorized and wonderfully written biography of Ray Bradbury) talk with John Shultz, who happens to be my other teacher this semester, and my thesis advisor, and the founder of the fiction writing department at Columbia, and the originator of the Story Workshop Method of teaching writing, and all-around fantastic man, AND, a former teacher and friend of mine, and incredible writer and teacher and human, Randy Albers, have a chat on the radio. Actually, I’m pretty sure you can listen to WGN on the internet. Go to http://www.wgnradio.com/ and click on the LISTEN NOW! link in the upper left hand corner and hear some surely incredible things about writing, Ray Bradbury, the Democratic Convention in ‘68, etc. You won’t be disappointed. If you are, at least you get a taste of the kind of people I get to learn from. You’ll discover exactly why (or at least a portion of why) you love me so much. All three of these men have shaped my writing in myriad and beautiful ways.

I will have to bring a radio with me, because tomorrow, after I teach my first-ever full class full of high-school kids as part of an awesome program called Teens Together (I’ll talk about it another time, this post is long enough as it is), I’m going to go hang out at my parents condo on Lake Shore Drive, and look at the lake and write and veg out and be alone. And also not deal with the mess and annoyance of having people putting up drywall in my house. Selfish, maybe. But sometimes, that’s okay. And also necessary.

Anyway, I command you to listen on Sunday morning at 8 a.m. to WGN 720 AM. And then, I want to hear what you think.

Some progress on my kitchen! October 6, 2006

Why didn’t anyone tell me what a dusty damn mess this was going to be? Anyway, here’s some progress:

Before the cabinets came down, the kids and I had fun with markers. Writing on walls is a helluva thrill.

Pre-demo. It’s a nasty looking hole, isn’t it? Can you believe I’ve put up with this shit for eleven years?

This thing was our light switch. You could pry the plastic cover off, and underneath are several different faces you could use. Presumably, at one time, the nose lit up. It hasn’t since I’ve lived here. One of the faces was defaced by a previous owner:

It’s hard to see here, but that second one from the right used to say “God Bless Our Home.” Now it says “God DAMN our home.” I’m guessing a few previous tenants weren’t too happy here. The hideousness on the far left was the wallpaper we stripped down when we moved in.

That framing used to contain my closet, which is being removed. I’m standing in the dining room, and I can now see the window over my sink! This is really exciting (and yes, I have a sad, little life. Leave me alone.)

This is the view when standing at the back door. When those studs are gone, it’ll be all open to the dining room. Yeah!

Similar view. Once those studs are gone, it’s going to be a whole new place.

I’ll keep you posted! Right now I have to go downtown and tutor.